So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
