apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Randomize
