after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
Randomize
