He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
