I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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