I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Randomize
