East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
She told me she wanted to wax my ass. I'm terrified and oddly aroused.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
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