Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
Randomize
