I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
