the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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