Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Christ I forgot how flexible you need to be for a decent sext pic. Jesus.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
I told my mom Jesus would want me to snort drugs on his birthday
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
Randomize
