So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
