Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Randomize
