I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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