its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
HIS DICK ISNT BIG ENOUGH FOR HIM TO BE THAT PROUD OKAY
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
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