Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
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