my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Randomize
