She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
Randomize
