hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
how do you expect me to pass the time when I'm too old to be jailbait but too young to legally drink
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
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