he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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