I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Randomize
