I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I wear drunk well.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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