so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
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