we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
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