i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
