you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Hey.... can you explain to me why when I woke up this morning my cell phone background had been changed to me getting a piggy back ride from a drag queen?
I think I was just recruited to join a religious lesbian cult by these 3 really pretty girls and I'm tempted to join
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
