I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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