Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
the cop said "drunk and disorderly" like it was a bad thing
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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