so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
She bit a glass in half.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
He was more tolerable with alcohol in my system. I woke up to him squeezing me and telling me how he wanted to dip me in strawberry jam.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
