Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
In her drunkenness, she packed a bag with tequila, two shot glasses, salt, a knife, and two pears. She was prepared but too high to distinguish pears from limes.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
