They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
