And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
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