Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
In the name of friendship, I’m going to kick your children into the ocean.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize
