So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
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