shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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