Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I JUST SAW MY THERAPIST OUTSIDE OF WORK AND I DONT KNOW THE ADULT THING TO DO
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
