This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I'm in charge of his party but you're a paramedic, we're both needed.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
There is nothing worse than the batteries of your vibrator dying on valentines day
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
Randomize
