She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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