Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Floor bacon is actually really good
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
