Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
The waitress at the airport bar just asked me if I wanted a "to go" beer, hahahahaha OF COURSE I WANT A TO GO BEER.
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
