Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
so my car got towed last night. I didnt know it cost 118 dollars to have a college experience
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
Randomize
