On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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