Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
I just looked at my iPhone gps history... "the gas station", "the park with a big scary fence", "the trampoline", and, my favorite, "where we were when we were about to do lines off a bible".
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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