Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I was on tinder the whole time I was waiting for my pregnancy test results at the doctors.
Randomize
