my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I have already put on my inside pants.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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