how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
Randomize
