You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Randomize
