she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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