I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
