Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
Thank fucking Christ I was not wearing pants or eating chocolate cake last night.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Randomize
