Having a random hookup so left but love u
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
