and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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