Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
So my ex just asked for my address to send me his wedding invitation... in Europe. Awesome.
That’s basically a green light to fuck his dad
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
